I am in the worst mood ever and felt the need to document it here, since I don't feel like complaining over the phone to anyone...they just tell me I am pregnant or whatever.
First though I will do as my therapist says and write a few good things that have happened over the last months. First, Mallory no longer has a binky. I had been contemplating getting rid of it for some time...I just didn't want her to be completely heartbroken. Braydon got his taken away too early in my opinion and he didn't stop talking about it for a year. I did a little research and asked around, and one night I told John I was going to cut the end of it off and see how Mallory reacted. She sucked on it for a second, got mad, threw it down, and told us it was broken. I suggested she throw it away if it's broken. She then took it to the garbage and threw it away. She has asked us for it, but I remind her that she threw it in the garbage and then she doesn't say anything. It's been 5 days, so hopefully this is a good sign!
Second, John got a new job! He was hired by Hill AFB as an intern for the remainder of his bachelor's degree. The pay is almost the same as his old job, and he only has to drive ten minutes. Plus they completely work around his school schedule. I feel really good about the whole deal, and a lot more secure with him working for the government.
Third, my pregnancy is going well. Baby's heart rate is good, her U/S looked good, and I have been measuring correctly. She moves differently than Mallory did, she almost feels like she is kickboxing in my belly!
So, now I can complain a little. This pregnancy has been way more painful than my first. My back is hurting all the time, I've had a horrible cough (that's just part of a cold, blah blah blah), and my hips hurt so bad when I am trying to fall asleep. Then if it's a particularly bad night with the hips I limp the entire next day. Everything seems to be annoying the crap out of me. I cry often, mainly when Mallory frustrates the heck out of me.
My sister is kind of annoying me. She is due in 2 weeks, and I don't even think it will help. She is having a boy, and so she is constantly rubbing it in that she is having the "first biological grandson" like I even care. She calls me with these idiotic questions, and she has already had a kid!!! She is constantly comparing herself to me weightwise...which is just something you don't do! She doesn't have any friends and she got fired from her job when she was about 4 months pregnant. Since it was kinda impossible for her to get another job, she hangs out at my Mom's house every night. She puts me on edge and I end up being really mean to her, then my Mom looks at me like I am so unsympathetic. I have started to just avoid going there. So basically I hang out in our little apartment all day since I hate the heat and I don't have any extra money to do anything. Oh, and we don't have cable.
Oh, and apparently I am not supposed to even buy anything for this baby, since it's another girl and we already have anything. Besides the fact that we don't have the money. I have come to realize that the reason I love shopping is because it makes me feel better. I wish we were rich! I think I was destined to be poor, though.
We started potty training Mallory and while she has gone on the potty a few times, I think it was by accident. I just really, really DO NOT want to be changing 2 kids diaper's and still wiping another one's butt once a month. And while I didn't actually potty train Braydon, he seemed to understand the whole concept a lot more than Mallory has so far. Every time she goes in the panties she immediately comes to me and says she needs to sit on the potty. Is this progress?
So now I have to go get ready for work. Hopefully I don't get any tips tonight in loaves of bread. Yeah, that's right. I had a table this week that left me no money, just a coupon for a free loaf of bread. I am sincerely hoping that they accidentally took the CC slip that had a tip written on it. And I also hope that none of my tables wants to have an in-depth conversation concerning my pregnancy.
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2 comments:
Oh Debbye, my heart is aching for you. I don't blame you for being "down in the dumps." All of your (so-called) complaining is entirely justified, so complain all you want. I think back on days when I had a three year old, a one year old (who was about as active as they get!) and was 7 months pregnant with a 9 lb. baby - aarrghhh! I couldn't bend over to pick up all of the toys that John had strewn all over the house, plus try to move fast enough to keep up with him and Wendi. But, the days passed, one at a time, my bleeding fingers healed after washing out messy diapers in the toilet when I had two teething sons at the same time, and those little children grew up and have become fantastic people. Try not to think too far ahead, take it minute by minute, cry every day and get some snuggles from Johnny when he comes home. You are always in my prayers!
Debbye,
I'm sorry things are so hard right now. Mom said you're coming up this week so we can get some girl time and you can vent all you want! Also, I have a few potty-training tips and might be able to help you. I do not claim to be an expert by any means though so no promises there. See you soon. Hugs, Wendi
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